Tips for Planning an Elopement
Let’s say you and your partner have decided you don’t want a big and/or traditional wedding and you want to elope, but you don’t know what to do next?! In 2017 Justin and I eloped…. IN OUR BACKYARD so I’m here to share all the tips with ya. You can read our wedding story HERE.
Some things that worked for us that I believe may be helpful for you:
Decide who you all what to invite
For some people eloping looks like just the bride, groom + officiant but that isn’t always the case. For us it was our parents, my little brother + our two best friends. You totally get to make this exactly how you want to. This is where you can be selfish + do exactly WHAT YOU WANT. Will someone be upset they weren’t invited? Absolutely. Please remember that’s not what it’s about - it’s about you as a couple. You do you, boo.
It is up to y’all if you want to keep it all a secret or share with the world prior to the day. We told our parents + the two friends that were with us but NO ONE ELSE knew until after the fact. It’s really nobody else’s business especially if you don't want it to be. We told our friends we were having an ‘engagement party’ that night @ the bar we always used to go dance at. When we showed up we surpassed them and said "We’re married!”
Pick a date
If you have a special date, by all means do that but if you aren’t married to a date (lol see what I did there) find a date that works for whomever you invited and make it happen. Don’t be afraid to commit to days other than Saturday. We knew we didn’t want to keep the elopement a secret for a long time so we were only engaged 31 days so we didn’t have to keep the secret for too long.
When you have the date - like I said before, you can tell your people OR you can totally keep it a secret. When Aunt Suzie asks how wedding planning is going or if you have a date set yet- there is NOTHING wrong with saying ya’ll haven’t picked a date yet. You don’t have to share any information with anyone if you don’t want to. It’s really that simple.
Decide which vendors are important to you
If you’re wanting a full vendor list, you may have to wait longer than you would like to find a date that works for everyone but if a huge vendor list isn’t a priority to you then you’re probably good to go on a shorter notice. We decided a photographer was the most important to us (go figure) so we reached out to her immediately to check her available dates + she was available on the date we had in mine so she was the only vendor we hired.
Pick a location
Are you wanting to elope somewhere in a far away land or somewhere locally? If you’re going away, booking from a distance + booking your travel may add some extra steps here and a few hoops to jump through but that will all come after you decide on the location. If you’re balling on a budget or want to stay local- there is 200% nothing wrong with a backyard/back pasture/field ceremony. Or is there is a park or somewhere special to you locally? Look into that! It’s not always about looking cool on the beach or on mountain tops- right where you are is beautiful too.
After the ‘I Do’ and first kiss there are a few more things to think about:
Decide on how you’re going to share the great news
Again this is totally a make it your own situation so the options are ENDLESS. If you’re the type to have zero guests at your ceremony and kept it a complete secret, a fun option is to mail out wedding announcements in snail mail like you would have mailed our invitations and save the dates. I personally love this idea.
You could throw an ‘engagement party’ with all of your people + say SURPRISE we’re married. Like I mentioned earlier - that’s what we did. We chose to do it the night of the wedding but it could honestly be any time after your ceremony.
You could text and/or email a wedding photo out + surprise your people that way by saying something like ‘Guess what we did today?' The same thing could happen via FaceTime or Zoom.
When all of your VIPs know the great news- that’s when I would suggest putting it on social media to share with the world. Make that your last resort for telling the masses because it can feel less personal.
Decide if you want a reception or party at a later date
If you skipped the big wedding to avoid a lot of planning this may not be the option for you but if you decided on a smaller ceremony for many other reasons this could be perfect for you and like anything - you can totally make this your own!
For us - we opted for a first anniversary/house warming party on our anniversary so there wasn’t a lot of planning necessary.
If you opt to let everyone know about your new marriage via snail mail you could send out your reception information with that as well.
But it’s important to note here - you DO NOT have to have a party or reception if you don’t want to.
All of that to say - truly at the end of the day what matters most is that you’re married to your person. How it happens is just a drop in the bucket of life. It’s about doing what makes ya’ll happy as a couple, not caring so much about what everyone else says you should/could do. Wishing you the very best!!
I hope this was so helpful for you.
Happy wedding planning, my friend.
